In the loving memory of someone who showed me to work hard, to fight for what you believe in, to never give up and to keep on smiling…
To be or not be...
Can you BE extremely happy and BE extremely sad at the same time? Can emotions overlap in your heart and leave you confuse and questioning the true meaning of “to be or not to be”?
Again, being able to truly describe being here is a challenge. Being a Peace Corps Volunteers is a challenge in every way. By that I mean that everything that happens to us, is often maximize and very extreme. So when I am sad, I am extremely sad and when happy I am on a high…on cloud 7.
My last update was in July and since then, I have been in and out of things. Things that has left me speechless and things that have taken my breath away. I often try to remind myself to remember. Remember how beautiful the sunset looks over the Kavango River. Remember how Owamboland looks like an oasis full of Palm trees amongst a mass of water and desert sand. Remember the smell of the first rain of the season. Remember the smell of the rain on the mahangu stalk. Remember the laugh of your neighbor’s adorable son and the birds chirping in the morning. Remember how the cool morning breeze caresses your skin after a long hot night. These are only a small fraction of the things that I absolutely love about Namibia…yes love. I am in love, in love with the land of my ancestors that I longed to know. The land that has welcomed me in so many ways and that has opened its arms to me...mother land that opened up her heart and home to me despite her struggle. What more can I ask for? Can I continue to be mad at the world when things don’t go my way or when someone rubs me the wrong way? Can I overlook the fact that in any village, country, continent that you are in, you encounter situations and people that are just too much? But do we give up and do we forget the beauties that that village, country and continent offered to us? I don’t think so, I won’t subject myself to creating animosity towards a place just because of incidences that may have happened. In life there are struggles and pain but for every struggle and for everything that causes pain, there are even more and greater things that triggers happiness in our lives and in our hearts which in turns develops love…unconditional love. So let’s try to remember everything that triggers this happiness and love in our hearts. That is what I want to live for. I want to grow from the pain and learn from my struggles but most of all I want to remember every single moment that makes my heart smile.
September 24th 2011 was a day that I was looking forward to for a long time. It has been a special day in my life especially for the past 12 years. This day is a special day in my family as we celebrate the life of our grandmother who is in her 90’s and of our precious little baby Chloe who is just growing way too fast for me lol. This year, it also marked the beginning and continuance of true love between my great
friend Melissa and her now husband Joel. So you see September 24th creates a burst of joy and happiness for me but life always throws your curves balls when you least expect it. I have to try to always remind myself that in life everything has a beginning also has an end, and as much as we do not want the end to come we have to force ourselves to accept it. With that said September 24th also now represents something else. A day that my heart was full of happiness and sadness. Wedding and a funeral: How can you deal with being so far away from home and loved ones when two extreme things are happening? As I am typing this, I realized that I did deal with this and I’ve dealt with it the best way I knew how to. You can’t expect life to be sweet and peachy all the time but you can expect that the day will go on; the sun will set…the sun will rise and tomorrow will be a better day. You realize that you just have to let the tears down, free your heart and soul of this untouchable pain that can leave you in agony. You remind yourself that in life you have to remember and hold on to everything that brings your joy. Do not forget the struggles and the pain, they make us understand ourselves better, they help us grow but don’t hold on to them because you will not be able to live with the beauty of memories and of the present. In so September 24th of this year brought on two more things for me but I choose to let the joyous events outshine. My dear friend Chantale does not deserved to be remembered just by that day. My years in college were brighten up by her smile and her ambition. Her kindness and willingness to help taught me quality life lessons that has helped me be a better person. Our endless hours of dancing outside of the reitz, our trips around FL, and the amazing memories we created through the Club Creole family is what I will hold on to. Without those times with you Chantoutou I would not have been who I am, I wish I wish I wish to tell you this in person, I hoped you knew and I hope you know now, and I also hope that all my other friends and family know that they are also are part of my heart.
I may not have a typical life (who does anyway) with a typical family, typical job or typical romance endeavors but what I do know is that I am blessed and lucky in the sense that I have the most amazing family and friends that are special to me in their own way. Somebody once thanked me for my support after a hard time for them but then asked me: “ Peggy, who supports you, who helps you, who does what you do for me?” and at that time I dint know how to really say but today I know that every single one of my friends and members of my family has molded me and shaped me into the person I am today. I owe everything to you…yes you. Every day of my life here in Namibia you help me to just keep on keeping on.
So thank you.
See below for a series of pictures to see how I am doing and what I have been up to....
Jack Jack Jackie dancing with the kids :)
@ Emily and Desmund's wedding :)
Beautiful beyond words, had an amazing time to say the least!
Meme, Tate Kulu Spence and I :)
Thanks for visiting and reading my blog, hope you enjoy the pics miss you thikuma :)