Not another 30 years!

Do we live in a world so sad and disturbed that our so called “morals” have failed us and are now leading us into a point of no return? Do we or should it be said that I have gotten to the point where/when I first meet people I sometimes think the worse of their intentions? Has trust become something that is hard to gain? These questions are only some things that linger in mind from time to time? Working hand in hand with a community that has been greatly affected by the HIV virus has given me or continues to give me a certain perspective on things. I have met mostly women and young girls that have been lied to and that are continuously victims to lies, manipulation and deception. Some say that if you are promiscuous and careless about your body/health then your are most likely to become infected. Is that the whole truth? Are these people the only one at risk? Or does it only seem that way to people on the outside that have not seen or heard it all. I ask myself, how can a young girl who has never been to the biggest town only two hours be infected? How could she, who does not know the latest music, the hip stylish clothes be infected? Is she promiscuous? Has she given up on her life at the tender age of fourteen to engage in activities that will hurt her future? I don’t know, I don’t have all the answers but all I truly know is that it happens. Young girls, and women that has decided to follow traditions, women that committed themselves to one partner has been and are continuously deceived. I realized this makes it seem like men are the only problem or that men are the only ones causing this, and I do apologize for that but the truth is women can be just as bad and often lie, cheat and deceived. You know what though…don’t let my being here in Namibia Africa be the factor for this post. We both know that “this” is going on pretty much all over the world. Apart from Africa, the United States has alarming HIV rates that are on the rise. The same stories that I encounter here, have also happened in the states. HIV does not discriminate. Age, Sex, Race, Religious Affiliation, Economic Status, Education Level, Sexual Preference, it really does not matter. This year marks 30 years since "its existence" and HIV/AIDS have claimed countless of lives. How are you facing AIDS? It may not be to do something so extreme like volunteering for two years in Africa. Really it begins with you. As I tell my students, the youth I work with and my community… I cannot tell you how to live your life. I cannot tell you what to do and how to do it. But I can tell you to take control of life. I can tell you to demand to be respected. I can tell you to demand to know your partners status. I can tell you to demand that you use protection while having sex. That is you’re right, are you going to go on and enjoy instant gratification while risking your life? It’s your life you decide. Think twice, you are grown and you know “this” exists. Do you part in this world that seems sometimes to be going down in a whirlwind? Let it begin with you that’s one of the most important things you can do. Let us NOT let HIV stay alive for another 30 years!

Thursday 1 December 2011: World AIDS day commemoration, This is for those who have lost the fight. Those who are continuously living positively, no matter what your status is. For the million of kids who stays strong through it all and for those who have been deceived, keep on keeping on!

To be or not to be...

In the loving memory of someone who showed me to work hard, to fight for what you believe in, to never give up and to keep on smiling…

To be or not be...

 Can you BE extremely happy and BE extremely sad at the same time?  Can emotions overlap in your heart and leave you confuse and questioning the true meaning of “to be or not to be”?

Again, being able to truly describe being here is a challenge.  Being a Peace Corps Volunteers is a challenge in every way.  By that I mean that everything that happens to us, is often maximize and very extreme.  So when I am sad, I am extremely sad and when happy I am on a high…on cloud 7. 

My last update was in July and since then, I have been in and out of things.  Things that has left me speechless and things that have taken my breath away.  I often try to remind myself to remember. Remember how beautiful the sunset looks over the Kavango River.  Remember how Owamboland looks like an oasis full of Palm trees amongst a mass of water and desert sand.  Remember the smell of the first rain of the season.  Remember the smell of the rain on the mahangu stalk.  Remember the laugh of your neighbor’s adorable son and the birds chirping in the morning.  Remember how the cool morning breeze caresses your skin after a long hot night.  These are only a small fraction of the things that I absolutely love about Namibia…yes love.  I am in love, in love with the land of my ancestors that I longed to know.  The land that has welcomed me in so many ways and that has opened its arms to me...mother land that opened up her heart and home to me despite her struggle.  What more can I ask for?  Can I continue to be mad at the world when things don’t go my way or when someone rubs me the wrong way?  Can I overlook the fact that in any village, country, continent that you are in, you encounter situations and people that are just too much?  But do we give up and do we forget the beauties that that village, country and continent offered to us?  I don’t think so, I won’t subject myself to creating animosity towards a place just because of incidences that may have happened.  In life there are struggles and pain but for every struggle and for everything that causes pain, there are even more and greater things that triggers happiness in our lives and in our hearts which in turns develops love…unconditional love.  So let’s try to remember everything that triggers this happiness and love in our hearts.  That is what I want to live for.  I want to grow from the pain and learn from my struggles but most of all I want to remember every single moment that makes my heart smile.

September 24^th 2011 was a day that I was looking forward to for a long time.  It has been a special day in my life especially for the past 12 years.  This day is a special day in my family as we celebrate the life of our grandmother who is in her 90’s and of our precious little baby Chloe who is just growing way too fast for me lol.  This year, it also marked the beginning and continuance of true love between my great

friend Melissa and her now husband Joel.  So you see September 24^th creates a burst of joy and happiness for me but life always throws your curves balls when you least expect it.  I have to try to always remind myself that in life everything has a beginning also has an end, and as much as we do not want the end to come we have to force ourselves to accept it.  With that said September 24^th also now represents something else.  A day that my heart was full of happiness and sadness.  Wedding and a funeral: How can you deal with being so far away from home and loved ones when two extreme things are happening?  As I am typing this, I realized that I did deal with this and I’ve dealt with it the best way I knew how to.  You can’t expect life to be sweet and peachy all the time but you can expect that the day will go on; the sun will set…the sun will rise and tomorrow will be a better day.  You realize that you just have to let the tears down, free your heart and soul of this untouchable pain that can leave you in agony.  You remind yourself that in life you have to remember and hold on to everything that brings your joy.  Do not forget the struggles and the pain, they make us understand ourselves better, they help us grow but don’t hold on to them because you will not be able to live with the beauty of memories and of the present.  In so September 24^th of this year brought on two more things for me but I choose to let the joyous events outshine.  My dear friend Chantale does not deserved to be remembered just by that day.  My years in college were brighten up by her smile and her ambition.  Her kindness and willingness to help taught me quality life lessons that has helped me be a better person.  Our endless hours of dancing outside of the reitz, our trips around FL, and the amazing memories we created through the Club Creole family is what I will hold on to.  Without those times with you Chantoutou I would not have been who I am, I wish I wish I wish to tell you this in person, I hoped you knew and I hope you know now, and I also hope that all my other friends and family know that they are also are part of my heart.

 I may not have a typical life (who does anyway) with a typical family, typical job or typical romance endeavors but what I do know is that I am blessed and lucky in the sense that I have the most amazing family and friends that are special to me in their own way.   Somebody once thanked me for my support after a hard time for them but then asked me:  “ Peggy, who supports you, who helps you, who does what you do for me?” and at that time I dint know how to really say but today I know that every single one of my friends and members of my family has molded me and shaped me into the person I am today.  I owe everything to you…yes you.  Every day of my life here in Namibia you help me to just keep on keeping on.

So thank you.

See below for a series of pictures to see how I am doing and what I have been up to....

                                              Our second kids day: August 2011

                                              HUGE beet roots: Kids day August 2011

                                             Helping Anna prepare tons of carrots:Kids day

                                            Jack Jack Jackie dancing with the kids :)

 

@ Emily and Desmund's wedding :)

Beautiful beyond words, had an amazing time to say the least!

 

                                                             With my friends and the kiddies :)

                                     Back @ Omuthitu with friends after killing and eating the goat :)

Meme, Tate Kulu Spence and I :)

 Thanks for visiting and reading my blog, hope you enjoy the pics miss you thikuma :)

xoxo Peggy

Lately...

HIV/AIDS Prevention and Education is...

...patience
...dedication
...Team work
...Being flexible
...1 on 1 interactions
...agreeing to disagree
...non-traditional teaching
...expecting the Unexpected
...fighting for what you believe
...accepting things that you do not understand
...learning that your ways or ideas aren’t always the right ones
...teaching that everyone should demand to be respected
...helping youth(and older people) realize that they matter
...building confidence through skills learning and sharing
...pushing through the hard days when nothing makes sense
...helping youth realize that they can be the best no matter what
...helping others understand what is it in their life that puts them at risk
...remembering that nobody is perfect and that tomorrow WILL be better

After being asked to put a poster together(regarding my work in the village) for an All Volunteer Conference, I thought about what HIV/AIDS prevention and education is to me and how exactly am I "teaching" that to people in my village. Above are some things that I thought about, there are a million of explanations and ways that other volunteers or people in general are using in order to "teach" people about HIV and such. I put "teach" in parenthesis because, I don't believe that I am a "teacher" to be exact, and I certainly do not only believe in just traditional ways of teaching. I think at some point before I joined the Peace Corps and during our first couple of months in country during training, there was an expectation that what we will be doing is finding people in our community to form groups in orders to have sessions about HIV. But what does that really mean? Is it expected that every week or so, I will meet with these different groups to deliver information about HIV. Is that all? Is that very productive and effective. Maybe it is but what else should HIV/AIDS prevention and education involved? As our HIV/AIDS coordinator said, we have past the point of "just teaching" about HIV, we need action, we need behavior change. I to have done "traditional teaching sessions" about HIV but for the past couple of months I have realized and felt that I have been going about it the wrong way. Just as a young child learn about many things about life in different settings or through different things, I think that I should also change the way I go about this.

So...to better explain, let me just say that I can no longer just stand in front of people to "just" talk about HIV. Over 75% of Namibians know what HIV is and the modes of transmission, so does that mean that it is beneficial or enjoyable for them to hear a Haitian-American girl speak English with a weird accent about something they have heard thousand of times. Yes some may argue that, that sounds impossible since people are still getting infected with HIV. I do ask myself that all the time, however, there are many many many other factors (which I will not get into today...maybe one day) that contributes to the rise of HIV infections. Moreover, I like to think back on my life and thing about what molded me. What did my parents/family keep me from, what did they teach me, what did they not allow me to do? What influenced me, what TV shows/movies did i watch or what type of music did I listen to? Who were my role models? Why and how did I decide not to do certain things? How many of my teachers truly invested their time on me? etc... I like to think about these things before I plan something with the youth I work with (the health club). I like to question myself and see what exactly are they going to get out of these activities. I also like to give them 1-1 attention.
Lately, I have been pushing them to get more involved in their community. It is said that:

"Through quality service experiences, youth can develop important skills such as critical thinking, a sense of civic responsibility, and an increased sense of self efficacy that will be useful to them throughout their lives. The sense that they can, and should, participate in their communities creates a strong foundation for their future. In addition to the civic and academic skills benefits, studies are starting to suggest the connection youth make to community members, their educators, and other classmates can impact their decisions and abilities to graduate from high school. Youth engagement in a community, especially when tied to the curriculum and when the youth are given an active voice, can be an enormous benefit to the path of not only the youth’s future, but the community's future as well."

with that I hope to really have an opportunity to build up their character, their confidence and give them an opportunity to have an active role not only in the club but also in their community. In addition to that, I like to talk about random topics that aren't necessarily tied to HIV but that are essentially an important factor to developing their "life skills". Sharing ideas amongst volunteers and my co-workers at work is also really great. I love that I can totally change what I planned to do to incorporate experiences and advices from others. It is difficult to talk to some kids about certain topis sometimes (like condoms, sex, love ect...and even teach them health skills like how to take pulse or use a computer) And after many of them told me that they heard that Love stood for "Lady Open Vagina Everyday", it became clear that these topics had to be brought up several times. Let me be clear and say that not everybody in my community have these thoughts nor believe that, it is just unfortunate that this phrase was made up and that some kids have gotten a hold of it. Just as in the states their are many unfortunate things that the youth fall into. Anyways, topics like these do not usually involved the youth and if they are not hearing the real truth about them, where should they go and get the facts, clearly not only amongst them since the phrase Lady Open Vagina Everyday was made up. I am not one with all the answers or the perfect life, and I make sure to tell them that. What I do know though is that in life there are some things that we should not tolerate. Such as being disrespected, being forced to do things we don't want or don't feel ready to do...to name a few.

I hope that I am somehow getting through to them. I am asked how do I monitor and evaluate them and to tell you the truth there is no precise or best way for me to do so. It is sometimes hard to see if they all understand or comprehend what I say, since even after 6 months they are very quiet, so quiet that sometimes I die a little inside. Anyways some of them participate and really asks me questions that helps me realize that they are thinking. So i go with that but most times I repeat the same sessions every couple months are so. After all repetition does work....right?

Besides all this work mambo jambo lol, I am doing well. August is suppose to be the last month of winter so I am looking forward to summer SOOOOO much, i don't think I can explain in words how excited i am lol. The day time is really not that bad, let me not let my exaggeration get the best of me lol but really at night and in the early mornings...its cold :(.

As far as language learning, Kuna ku kambadhara...I am trying really. We are suppose to start some nifty nutrition classes with pregnant women...one day, so I think I am going to write down my parts in Thimbukushu on an index card then just read it when the day comes. There is a great possibility that my pronunciation will be ...not so good and that people will laugh lol but ill keep you updated with that lol.

I must admit...I am not good at really up keeping my blog i should not lie to myself or you...but i will say that...kuna ku kambadhara.

Until next time my friends and lovers!

Smile like you mean it :)

Karepo Thiwana!